This past weekend I had a very interesting experience with
my niece Maya, - she is 5 years old and absolutely lovely. I live an hour away
from where she lives, so I do not often get to spend a lot of time with her.
This Saturday we got to have a sleep over together.
My Big Error:
On the way home I asked Maya what she would like for dinner.
This was a rookie move -- clearly I don’t have children of
my own yet. Maya said, “hamburgers and hotdogs. AND I want the white squishy
buns.”
Sirens instantly went off in my head. Squishy buns?? Heck
no. That’s not By Design, it’s not real food and its not coming into my
kitchen.
The Dilemma: How do I explain to a 5 year old WHY we will
not be having buns for dinner?
Family can be the hardest to deal with when it comes to them
accepting your way of life. Just because I Eat By Design, it does not give me
the right to impose my values and beliefs on them. I have had discussions on
many occasions about why I make the choices that I make for my health with my
family members. It gets a little bit easier each time and helps to increase my
certainty. That being said, not all of my family has been ready or willing to
embrace the By Design lifestyle.
I was afraid to tell my niece the truth. If I said I do not
want to feed her buns because they are made out of wheat, which is bad for her
body, what would the consequences be? Being the chatty 5 year old that she is,
anything I say to Maya is guaranteed to be repeated to my sister and likely to
be misconstrued as me imposing my beliefs on a child who is not mine.
In my moment of anxiety, I sent my boyfriend a text message
(When in doubt, phone a friend!). “Maya wants buns. What do I do?”
The infinitely wise words back were, “No, never sacrifice
your values for anyone.”
Brilliant. Yes. Of course! How silly of me to have even
considered taking the easy way out and just giving them to her. That would be
against my moral code. I would be feeding a child food that I know is toxic to
her body.
The little voice in my head was still on the fence. Who’s
values is this child being raised by anyway? Certainly not mine. Her parents
feed her grains every day of the week. Does it really make a difference if I do
not feed her grains? Is it worth confusing her?
From talking to parents who feed their children By Design I
know this is a tough issue. Kids want to know why their cousins and friends do
not eat the same way as them. Why does Billy’s mom feed him bad food? As people
who choose to fuel our body differently than the cultural norm, it is a fine
line to walk between being politically correct and sticking to our guns.
You’re probably wondering what I did.
The buns were conveniently forgotten at the grocery store.
During dinner instead of focusing on the bread being missing I initiated a
conversation about how yummy and healthy the meats and veggies were that we
were eating.
My solution to this problem is to focus on the positive. In all aspects of life and Eating By Design, I would much rather think and talk about the things that are good, nutritious and satisfying, rather than the things that are less than optimal or missing. At some point I will talk to my niece about the adverse effects of grains, but I am waiting until she is older and can fully understand the conversation.
If you have run into a similar situation and would like to
share you strategies, I would love to hear from you! Please comment!
