YOLO

I saw a post on Facebook this week that was a link to a BuzzFeed blog about the top “30 signs you’re almost 30.” It was a pretty funny blog.. most of it was spot on. Reason #21 “Teen slang makes you viscerally angry.” Was accompanied with this photo:

Ah .. YOLO.

I have to agree. This is one teen slang that does make me viscerally angry, but not just because its teen slang.

The first time I ‘heard’ it was in a Facebook status:

 “Gonna party hard tonight! #YOLO #Drunk” (also viscerally angry over the use of hash tags on Facebook. But that’s a completely different story.)

I had to turn to my good friend, Google, for a definition of this new mystery term.

Turns out YOLO is an acronym meaning “You Only Live Once.” How clever.

I have found a disheartening trend with the use of this phrase..? Word..? Saying..? Whatever.

YOLO is generally used as a rationalization for doing something totally irresponsible, plain stupid, or otherwise ‘naughty.’

Tell me if any of these scenarios sound familiar:

 “I probably shouldn’t go out tonight and do 8 shots of tequila. But YOLO! Let’s DO IT!”

“I should be eating healthy but that chocolate cake looks amazing and hey- YOLO. Right?!”

“I can’t really afford to go to Vegas and spend every cent I have on hookers and blow..oh well.. YOLO!” 

Okay this last one might be a slight exaggeration. But you get the point.

Why is it that the idea that “you only live once” is a green light to damage your body, spend money on stupid things and avoid responsibility?

Not to be Negative Nancy…. But SERIOUSLY?!

Here’s what I think of when I think YOLO:

-       I have ONE shot at this life. One shot to be the best version of me, to spend my days living my purpose and to be generally as awesome as possible.

-       I have one body. One chance to live in a way that doesn’t add up to obesity, diabetes, cancer or liver failure.

-       I have one opportunity to make a good first impression on people that I might have to see in the morning or in another social or professional setting.

-       I have one opportunity to raise happy, healthy children.

-       I have ONE life and IF I BLOW IT, I can’t take it back.

I am definitely not perfect. I have definitely done things that were irresponsible, stupid or otherwise naughty. But I do not justify those actions it as moments when I got to “live a little.”

Why is it that if you are being responsible, healthy and making good decisions you’re boring and rigid?

Who decided that ‘being human’ and ‘living life to the fullest’ had to mean partying, boozing and eating crappy food?

If you only live once, the best moments should be the ones where you are expressing the most life, not the ones that bring you closer to death.

This week try to eat all By Design, get in an extra work out, spend more time out side or think about your life purpose – because YOLO! And when you do, I’d love to hear about it in our comments.

Eating By Design at a Restaurant?! It IS Possible!

Vacations are awesome, but they can be one of the hardest times to stay on track with a By Design lifestyle. I was away this month in Nova Scotia. As always, we did our best to Eat By Design while on the go. It was really hard to find anything easily portable that was good for our bodies. Not having a fridge or kitchen to prepare food for the day is a frustrating prospect when you want to be fueling optimally.

The fast food industry just isn’t real food friendly. The limited options are usually over priced, low quality and all around disappointing.  For this reason, we found ourselves eating at sit down restaurants and diners and skipping the fast food scene altogether. It takes a bit of extra time and money but it was worth it to stay on track and have great energy to enjoy our trip to the fullest.

Eating out at home, in Toronto, is a lot easier now that I have been Eating By Design for years. I have accumulated a rolodex in my mind of the places where I know I can go and get the quality food that I want to put in my body. There are also certain chain restaurants that I know have a couple of go-to items that I like to eat. When I am out of town I tend to look for those restaurants. This trip presented a little bit of extra challenge because in small town Cape Breton there is mostly family run operations. Completely unexplored restaurant territory.

In this situation, there is only one thing you can do if you want to stay on track. You have to ask questions, sometimes lots of questions.

If you remember anything from this blog I hope it is this:

Never assume that what you are eating at a restaurant is on track until you ask about the ingredients.

If you genuinely care about what you are using to fuel your body you need to be curious about your food.

The following are guidelines that I have developed for myself to use anytime I am eating at a new restaurant.

Always question soup.

Soups are often thickened with cornstarch or flour. The traditional way of preparing a creamy soup is to use a ‘roux’ to thicken it. A roux is a mixture of fat (usually butter) and flour. It serves to thicken and also stabilize the soup to keep it from separating. If you are dining on a lovely bisque or cream of tomato soup, chances are that perfect texture is due to flour. Now you know to be wary.

Always question thick gravies or creamy sauces.

The same techniques used for thickening soups apply to sauces — liberal measures of flour and cornstarch.

Always question anything that is fried.

Almost all fried food is battered, breaded or ‘dusted’ in flour. Plus most places fry everything in canola, soy, safflower or peanut oils. These oils are engineered to be great for cooking at high temperatures without burning. This quality is great for the food industry but not great for your body. Even pan-fried items are typically cooked in vegetable oils.

Extra tip: Anything labeled ‘crispy’ has more than likely spent time in a deep fryer.

Always question burgers, sausages, meatballs, meat loaf and fish cakes or crab cakes.

These items almost always have flour or bread crumbs holding them together. This rule holds true for packaged items from the grocery store. Be suspicious and check the labels.

Always question stir-fry sauce.

Stir-fry sauces often contain soy sauce. Soy sauce is made from wheat. Even if they don’t specifically say they use soy sauce, they may use oyster sauce, teriyaki sauce or hoisin sauce ALL of which contain soy sauce also known as tamari.  

Always question salads.

Healthy sounding salads may come garnished with croutons, crackers, corn chips or crispy noodles that will grain-up your salad when they are mixed in. In addition, almost all commercial salad dressings contain canola oil. I challenge you to find one at your local grocery store that doesn’t contain canola oil. It will be like the hardest game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ you have ever played.

I don’t want to discourage you with all of this information. There are many restaurant meals that contain only fresh, delicious real foods. You just need to know what to look for and the things to ask to be sure. No one is going to monitor what is going into your body except you.

After a number of years spent working in restaurants, I know that your best bet is to ask the server to check with the chef/kitchen staff.

Well-meaning servers sometimes think that they know the answers without having intimate knowledge of the preparation methods for some of the dishes.

Trust me, asking them to double check with the kitchen is much easier for you and them than sending back dish that you won’t eat.

Indicating that you have a wheat allergy can be useful. Most restaurants have protocols surrounding how they handle allergy meals that will ensure they are circumspect with your food. For instance, if you ask for no croutons and they accidentally get put on your salad. A non-allergy plate will probably just have the croutons picked off. An allergy plate, on the other hand, will get remade to ensure there was no wheat touching your food. An added bonus is that for some reason people tend to be more accommodating when it comes to modifying dishes if its for an allergy versus you seeming like a picky eater.

Lastly, to avoid unhealthy refined vegetable oils, you can ask for your food to be pain fried in butter or olive oil only. For salads, ask for a bottle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar or lemons instead of the premade dressing.

Only you can decide what lengths you are willing to go to for a clean, on track meal. Sometimes you might decide to take the ‘ignorance is bliss’ option or opt to knowingly have an off track meal.

However, when you do want to stay on track, we hope these guidelines will help you to eat like a By Design pro whenever and wherever you are dining!

Enough Is Not A Number.

A crucial step to making any sort of change is setting a goal. Goal setting is a powerful tool. It gives the mind something to focus on. It allows strategies and action steps to be effectively planned and implemented. Having a goal also sets a standard when deciding whether or not action steps have been successful.

Notice I have not said that setting goals and meeting them will make you satisfied with yourself.  It will not make you 100% healthy and happy in all areas of your life. It may seem self evident or ridiculous when I put it that way, but this is an important point.

People load their goals with feelings and expectations. We never really want the goal in and of itself. What we really want is all of the other stuff that we think attaining that goal will bring.

Earning a million dollars means nothing. What is desirable about earning a million dollars is the financial freedom it brings. Similarly, losing 20 pounds or fitting into size 4 jeans actually means nothing if these changes are not accompanied by confidence and positive self image.

Nobody really wants to look like Kate Moss. People think they want to look like Kate Moss because they imagine looking like a super model will allow them to love themselves, feel comfortable in their skin and confident in any situation.

The sad truth is that many models look in the mirror and only see their flaws.  Anorexic women have dangerously low body weight; yet still view themselves as over weight.  People who have millions in the bank feel that they do not have enough.

Enough is not a number. We cannot measure our sufficiency in dollars or pounds. Underlying every goal, every change we wish to make is the feeling that we are not good enough.

When a person feels insufficient there is nothing they can obtain that will ever fill the void. There will never be enough jewellery, interesting books, diet advice, loving partners or chocolate cake to make up for your own feelings of inadequacy.

I am not saying that we should never try to improve. On the contrary, I firmly believe that there is untapped potential in all of us for better health and to create and reap more value in the world. However, there is a big difference between working everyday to be the best version of ourselves and expecting that a deep-rooted self esteem issue will be resolved by changing our bodies or bank accounts.

It is crucial to investigate why we are working towards our goals. If we do not ask ourselves the hard questions, dig up our beliefs in every area, analyze these beliefs for flaws and lay the foundation for true happiness in our lives, then nothing we achieve will ever be enough.  

Can You Eat That?

As an Eat By Design Coach and someone who has been Eating By Design for several years now, there are certain questions that I am used to hearing over and over again. This is one that I would like to lay to rest: “Can you eat that? 

The answer is always “Yes.” 

I CAN eat pasta. I CAN eat donuts. I CAN eat an entire loaf of bread covered in peanut butter, dipped in high fructose corn syrup and rolled in chocolate sprinkles (at least I’m pretty sure I could if I tried.)

A much better question is “Will you eat that?”

I know it sounds like I am being picky about the semantics here, but there is a very important difference.

I have noticed a trend among people who eat differently from the majority in their social group. They will explain their food choices by saying “oh, no I can’t eat that” usually in an apologetic tone. It’s like they would eat what ever food it is, but some mythical diet police will pop out of the walls and tackle them if they do. This is not just an Eat By Design thing. I’ve heard it from vegetarian and vegan friends and people on a variety of short-term diet plans.

The issue is that by saying “I can’t” you are abdicating the responsibility for the choice that you are making.

Instead of affirming a belief that one is making a positive choice for their health and choosing not to eat certain foods, the blame is put on the rule. Conscious decision-making and free will are taken out of the equation.

Let me give you an example:

“Sorry, I would love to eat that cake, but I’m doing this Eat By Design thing, so I can’t.”  

In this scenario, the speaker takes minimal responsibility for their actions and it almost sounds like the Eat By Design enforcers are punishing them and keeping them from eating the cake.

If you are choosing to Eat By Design because you want to be more awesome, great! 

If you choose not to eat grains, legumes, low fat dairy, processed sugar and refined oils, we totally support that! But nobody is going to hold a gun to your head. 

I would MUCH rather hear you say “Sure I can eat that pizza but I am choosing not to" than “No, sorry, my diet says I can’t.” 

The more you say “I can’t…” the less certainty you will have. It is when you start saying “I won’t…” and "I choose not to..." that your self-esteem and your conviction grow.

I suppose the reason why the question “Can you eat that?” bothers me, is because it assumes that I am some mindless drone to a diet-cult that I belong to.  

For the sake of building relationships and not being a social pariah, I typically answer in a nice polite tone “Yes, but no thank you.” But in my head I am shouting “OF COURSE I CAN EAT THAT! I CAN EAT WHATEVER THE HECK I WANT. I JUST DON’T WANT TO PUT THAT IN MY BODY!”

 Now you know. 

So please don’t ask, because inside… there’s a lot of shouting.